I was
fortunate to grow up surrounded by strong women! On both my maternal and
paternal sides, there were strong women to use as role models, but today I will
write about the strongest woman in my life, my mother.
Elizabeth
Mary Connery was the tenth and final child born to Michael Connery and Alice
Fleming. Betty was born on 26 September 1917 in Chicago, Illinois. The United States had entered World War I just
six months earlier.
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| Betty at 5 years |
With eight
years separating her from her next sibling, Betty was almost considered an only
child. Indeed, two of her older sisters had already graduated from high school
and become religious sisters before Betty’s birth.
Living in a
household of older children and adults, often Betty was either overlooked or
“forgotten”. She once told me about the time there was a small kitchen fire in
the house. The house was evacuated, but Betty, napping in a small room adjacent
to the kitchen, was forgotten! Fortunately, the fire was quickly extinguished and Betty
was uninjured.
Betty
attended grade school at the local parish, St Mel, where she was baptized. At
about twelve years old, Betty was sent to boarding school, following the tradition
established by her five older sisters. Betty loved the school and her
classmates, many of whom became life-long friends. She was really happy when
one of her sisters, who was a nun, was assigned to teach at the school. At some
point in her school life Betty caught diphtheria, causing the school to be
closed and her father to have a doctor flown from Chicago to treat her.
After Betty
graduated from Mount St Mary Academy with the class of 1935, she enrolled in
Mundelein College, which had opened in Chicago just five years earlier. After
one year there, Betty left to study art at the Art Institute of Chicago with
the hope of becoming a fashion designer. As she told me later, “Once I realized
that a design had to look good on everyone whether they were a size six or
twenty, I decided it wasn’t for me,”
Eventually Betty left the Art Institute to work for the Chicago
Metropolitan Sanitary District, where she would remain until her marriage to
Donald George Hansen in 1940. They were married in the same church Betty had
gone to for her entire life.
The couple
lived in various apartments for several years until 1947 when they bought a
large Victorian house in the Chicago suburb of Elmhurst. As her
family eventually grew to include nine children, Betty was often asked how she
managed such a large brood. Her reply, “After three it makes no difference.”
Betty was a good manager and assigned chores to the children as they were able
to accomplish them. Betty didn’t drive so she walked to the grocery store in
the late afternoon so her shopping was completed in time for Don to pick her
and the groceries up on his way home from work. In 1952 Betty gave birth to her
seventh child and developed rheumatic Fever. When she was finally released from
the hospital, she went to the home of a dear friend who was a professional
nurse, Betty did not return to her home in Elmhurst until April of 1953.
Don died
suddenly and unexpectedly in December 1959, at the age of 50. Suddenly Betty,
42, was a widow with 9 children under 18 to raise. Fortunately, her family was ready to offer
help, both financially and emotionally. What would the future hold for all of
them? Betty hadn’t worked since her marriage and now needed a way to support
her children and herself. When Betty contacted Social Security, she found out
that only three or her nine children would be covered Each time one of the
children turned eight-teen she needed to report it to the benefits office even
though it would not affect her allotment until the seventh child became
eight-teen. Betty and Don had always paid for everything in cash and so had
never established credit. Now it was impossible for her to obtain credit with
no visible source of income.
Since her
youngest child was only two and a half, Betty decided to enroll in night
classes at Elmhurst College, which was only three blocks away, with the plan of
becoming a teacher. It took a lot of determination, but Betty worked hard and
through a mixture of night, correspondence, and eventually day classes, Betty
graduated from Elmhurst College the same year her daughter Suzanne graduated from
college. They were both teachers and
rewarded themselves with a joint trip to Europe that summer!
By the time
she graduated, Betty had begun driving and so she was able to accept a teaching
position in another town. Betty taught fifth grade at Stella Mae Schwartz
school for six years until health issues triggered by her rheumatic fever bouts
caused doctors to recommend that she move to the South where the climate was
milder. She had also had heart surgery to replace a faulty heart valve.
On the
fourteenth birthday of her youngest child, Betty loaded her car and, with the
three youngest children, moved to Florida. Betty had chosen a three bedroom
condo in Pompano Beach because it was close to Ft Lauderdale where her two
brothers and her sister Kathleen lived. Betty took a teaching position in the
Pompano Beach schools and became active in St Coleman Catholic church, teaching
in the religious education program. One of the highlights of the week for Betty
was Friday night dinners with her brother Tom and his wife Ruth along with her
sister Kathleen. Over time all her older children and their families were able
to visit her in Florida.
Betty’s right arm became extremely painful and after
testing the doctors determined that she had multiple meyloma. The disease had
eaten the bone from the inside out causing her arm to fracture from its own
weight. As she became weaker, Betty reduced her teaching load to subbing and
tutoring. She accepted jobs when she felt up to it.
As she
became sicker, Betty was forced to give up her apartment and go to live with
her daughter Peggy and her family. It was obvious that Betty was losing the
fight for her health and there was little time left for her. Betty died on 24
October 1977 at the age of 60.
