52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks – Week 10 “Strong Woman”

I was fortunate to grow up surrounded by strong women! On both my maternal and paternal sides, there were strong women to use as role models, but today I will write about the strongest woman in my life, my mother.

Elizabeth Mary Connery was the tenth and final child born to Michael Connery and Alice Fleming. Betty was born on 26 September 1917 in Chicago, Illinois.  The United States had entered World War I just six months earlier.

Betty at 5 years

With eight years separating her from her next sibling, Betty was almost considered an only child. Indeed, two of her older sisters had already graduated from high school and become religious sisters before Betty’s birth.

Living in a household of older children and adults, often Betty was either overlooked or “forgotten”. She once told me about the time there was a small kitchen fire in the house. The house was evacuated, but Betty, napping in a small room adjacent to the kitchen, was forgotten! Fortunately,  the fire was quickly extinguished and Betty was uninjured.

Betty attended grade school at the local parish, St Mel, where she was baptized. At about twelve years old, Betty was sent to boarding school, following the tradition established by her five older sisters. Betty loved the school and her classmates, many of whom became life-long friends. She was really happy when one of her sisters, who was a nun, was assigned to teach at the school. At some point in her school life Betty caught diphtheria, causing the school to be closed and her father to have a doctor flown from Chicago to treat her.

After Betty graduated from Mount St Mary Academy with the class of 1935, she enrolled in Mundelein College, which had opened in Chicago just five years earlier. After one year there, Betty left to study art at the Art Institute of Chicago with the hope of becoming a fashion designer. As she told me later, “Once I realized that a design had to look good on everyone whether they were a size six or twenty, I decided it wasn’t for me,”  Eventually Betty left the Art Institute to work for the Chicago Metropolitan Sanitary District, where she would remain until her marriage to Donald George Hansen in 1940. They were married in the same church Betty had gone to for her entire life.

The couple lived in various apartments for several years until 1947 when they bought a large Victorian house in the Chicago suburb of Elmhurst. As her family eventually grew to include nine children, Betty was often asked how she managed such a large brood. Her reply, “After three it makes no difference.” Betty was a good manager and assigned chores to the children as they were able to accomplish them. Betty didn’t drive so she walked to the grocery store in the late afternoon so her shopping was completed in time for Don to pick her and the groceries up on his way home from work. In 1952 Betty gave birth to her seventh child and developed rheumatic Fever. When she was finally released from the hospital, she went to the home of a dear friend who was a professional nurse, Betty did not return to her home in Elmhurst until April of 1953.

Don died suddenly and unexpectedly in December 1959, at the age of 50. Suddenly Betty, 42, was a widow with 9 children under 18 to raise.  Fortunately, her family was ready to offer help, both financially and emotionally. What would the future hold for all of them? Betty hadn’t worked since her marriage and now needed a way to support her children and herself. When Betty contacted Social Security, she found out that only three or her nine children would be covered Each time one of the children turned eight-teen she needed to report it to the benefits office even though it would not affect her allotment until the seventh child became eight-teen. Betty and Don had always paid for everything in cash and so had never established credit. Now it was impossible for her to obtain credit with no visible source of  income.

Since her youngest child was only two and a half, Betty decided to enroll in night classes at Elmhurst College, which was only three blocks away, with the plan of becoming a teacher. It took a lot of determination, but Betty worked hard and through a mixture of night, correspondence, and eventually day classes, Betty graduated from Elmhurst College the same year her daughter Suzanne graduated from  college. They were both teachers and rewarded themselves with a joint trip to Europe that summer!

By the time she graduated, Betty had begun driving and so she was able to accept a teaching position in another town. Betty taught fifth grade at Stella Mae Schwartz school for six years until health issues triggered by her rheumatic fever bouts caused doctors to recommend that she move to the South where the climate was milder. She had also had heart surgery to replace a faulty heart valve.

On the fourteenth birthday of her youngest child, Betty loaded her car and, with the three youngest children, moved to Florida. Betty had chosen a three bedroom condo in Pompano Beach because it was close to Ft Lauderdale where her two brothers and her sister Kathleen lived. Betty took a teaching position in the Pompano Beach schools and became active in St Coleman Catholic church, teaching in the religious education program. One of the highlights of the week for Betty was Friday night dinners with her brother Tom and his wife Ruth along with her sister Kathleen. Over time all her older children and their families were able to visit her in Florida. 

Betty’s right arm became extremely painful and after testing the doctors determined that she had multiple meyloma. The disease had eaten the bone from the inside out causing her arm to fracture from its own weight. As she became weaker, Betty reduced her teaching load to subbing and tutoring. She accepted jobs when she felt up to it.

As she became sicker, Betty was forced to give up her apartment and go to live with her daughter Peggy and her family. It was obvious that Betty was losing the fight for her health and there was little time left for her. Betty died on 24 October 1977 at the age of 60.

In spite of the many setbacks and disappointments in her life, Betty remained positive and lovin. She raised nine children who became a credit to both of their parents and in turn passed their values down to twenty-one grandchildren. She was a shining example of strength for all of us. She had faith in the future and was very strong in her religion.