52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks - Week 26 Betty the Later Years

The theme for this week is "Black Sheep" but I haven't found any yet so I am posting the last of three posts about the life of my mother Betty Connery Hansen.

photo credit Elmhurst Press, publ 8 June 1965
l-r Peggy, Alice, Mike, Donald, Betty, Paul, and Mary

January 1, 1960, the beginning of a new year and a new stage in the life of Betty Connery Hansen. The funeral with its attendant decisions was over, but the grief and shock had not yet lessened. Betty was now a widow with nine dependent children to care for. The youngest two were not even in school yet. However would she manage to provide for her family?

It was a time of “stay at home” moms and Betty hadn’t worked outside her home in over twenty years. She didn’t even drive! As Betty reviewed her options, she found much to be grateful for. About two years earlier she and Donald had looked at buying a larger house in a more residential area of Elmhurst. It was a serious consideration that they eventually decided against. Now Betty was very glad for that decision since their current house was ideally located for her children to attend their activities without the need to be driven. Another decision that they had made was to cash in the small life insurance policies they had purchased for the older children and use the proceeds to increase Donald’s insurance. What a wise choice that proved to be.

Family came to the rescue both emotionally and financially. Fortunately, the Connerys believed in helping when it was needed and not waiting until a will was read. Betty’s sister Kathleen whisked daughters Mary and Peggy (then in second and first grade respectively) off to Florida with her for the rest of the school year. While in Florida, the girls attended Rosarian Academy, a boarding school in West Palm Beach. Donna returned to Mount St Mary Academy for her final semester of high school. Tom, Paul, Suzy and Mike returned to school in Elmhurst and Betty was left to figure out the rest of her life.

Dealing with financial matters after Donald’s death, Betty was informed that Social Security would give her the maximum allowance for her family but that was the same amount that she would receive if she only had three children. In other words, every time one of the children turned 18, she needed to report it to Social Security but her monthly amount would not change until Peggy (#7) turned 18.

 Adding to Betty’s pain that year, her mother-in-law Henrietta (Bockie) died in April, just four months after her son. Bockie had often come to stay and help with the children and some of the cooking. 

As Betty started making plans for her future, she looked at her strengths and decided that being a mother to so many children would help her to be a good teacher. Since she had attended Mundelein College for a year, she could complete the education requirements for a teacher’s degree in less time. As a teacher, she would not need childcare because her school days would match up with those of her children. And so, it was decided.

In the fall of 1960 Betty enrolled in Elmhurst College and began her degree work. Evening classes were her route since Alice had just started Kindergarten and Donald was not yet in school. She also took home study classes through Loyola University in Chicago. This would lengthen the time that it took to get her degree, but it would not affect her determination to complete her plan.

In June of 1965, Betty graduated from Elmhurst College, having already secured a teaching position at Stella May Schwartz School where she had done her student teaching.

Betty loved teaching and truly enjoyed both her students and fellow teachers. She stayed at Stella May Schwartz for several years until her health forced her to move to a warmer climate. Florida was chosen because her sister Kathleen and brothers Tom and Jack had all relocated to Fort Lauderdale in their retirement.

In 1971, Betty and the children still living at home, Peggy, Alice, and Donald moved to Pompano Beach, Florida. The move was a major change for all of them as they left a five bedroom, two story house for a three bedroom condo on the second floor and also adjusted to a new climate.

Betty took a teaching position at a school in Pompano Beach and also taught religious education classes during the school year. Over the next several years Betty’s health continued to decline until she was forced to give up the condo and move to her daughter Peggy’s home.

Betty died on 24 October 1977 at the age of sixty having lived a full life of loving her family, her students and friends and above all God in whom she put her complete trust.

Betty’s legacy includes her nine children, 21 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren with one on the way and still counting. She taught all of us to be kind, loving, to act with honesty and integrity and to respect others. It is up to each of us to honor her memory by passing on her values to the younger generation.

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks - Mothers - Betty part 2

(part 1 ended with Betty and Donald's marriage)

Donald’s work would require them to live in Atlanta for the first year of their marriage, but then they would return to Chicago where they would live with her parents since Donald and his parents often traveled for the company. Many of the company’s jobs took the Hansens to Wisconsin and Michigan where Donald wrote almost nightly to Betty especially while she was expecting their first child.

After Donna was born, the little family moved to the apartment building, four blocks away, that was owned by Betty’s brother Tom. They stayed there for several years until they were able to purchase a two flat about two miles further west. The house was across the street from the public school where Donna and Tom would attend kindergarten and about two blocks from St Thomas Aquinas Church and School. Betty’s family would grow to number four children while they remained in the City. By now Donald had left the dangerous work in steel construction and taken a job working for Betty’s father handling the Real Estate portion of the business. Donald was a good salesman and enjoyed the work.

As part of his job Donald often went out to look at the new listings of homes for sale. In the fall of 1948 he traveled to Elmhurst to see a 4-bedroom house listed for sale. Inspired, he took a picture of the large house to show Betty. The location of the house was perfect for the growing family. It was one block from both the Catholic and Public schools as well as a park and library. The church was located on the same property as the Catholic school and there was shopping within walking distance. Being close to the train station was also an encouraging factor since Betty did not drive and this would make it easy for her to go to the city to visit family. The family moved into this perfect house in Dec 1948. When it was time for a large grocery shopping trip, Betty would walk to the store and make her purchased timing it so she would be finished when Donald got home from work and he would meet her at the store, load the groceries into the car and take her home.

Life continued in this manner during the 1950’s as the family grew until it numbered eleven with the birth of Donald Joseph in 1957. Betty and Donald hosted family parties from the beginning of their marriage and continued to do so in Elmhurst. Thanksgiving was huge with both families represented by parents and cousins. It was many years later that I finally determined what the relationships really were!

At different times during our childhood Betty had help with housework and childcare. I remember Mary Williams who came to help with the house cleaning on a weekly basis and I remember Emma, a German lady who lived with us to help mom. And I remember Ruth who lived with us one summer to babysit. This help was needed since Betty had suffered with rheumatic fever I think three times, the most recently following the birth of Peggy. Peggy was born before Christmas and we didn’t see mom again until Easter. After her release from the hospital after Peggy’s birth, mother and baby went to Milton, WI where a long-time family friend would nurse her back to health.

In addition to raising her nine children, Betty was a true contributor to society. She was a Camp Fire Leader, in the evenings she would sit and do bead embroidery on cashmere sweaters for the Catholic charity her sister-in-law supported. 

In the summer the family made a trip to the Indiana cottage owned by her sister Kathleen for a vacation on the shores of Lake Michigan. It was no “day at the beach” for Betty as there were none of the conveniences of home. Lacking a dishwasher, Betty stood at the sink doing dishes after each meal of the day while the children were out the door for their adventures. Since the cottage did not have laundry facilities once a week the family would travel to Michigan City and Betty would go to the laundromat to do laundry while the rest of the family would enjoy milkshakes at Scholl’s Dairy or go the movies or the zoo. Since Betty was not yet a driver, Donald was the chauffer on those occasions. Donald also worked while at the cottage, doing painting and other minor construction as needed for it’s upkeep. Evenings at the cottage were meant for playing board and card games and often there was popcorn!

Labor Day meant the return to Elmhurst, school, and work for Donald. For Betty it was a return to her regular routine, so much so that she was featured in the local newspaper as the “Local Mother of Nine” who was asked how she managed her large family. 

Sometime during the late 1950’s Donald and Betty took the only vacation since their honeymoon. They took a driving trip around Lake Michigan with a stop at Mackinac Island. I remember she brought home a cocoa brown dirndl skirt with a boarder of white embroidery just above the hem. About that time also Betty and Donald considered buying a new house that was slightly bigger, but by then the older children were in high school and would soon be leaving home. To increase their income, Donald left the Real Estate business and went back to construction. That did not work out well since his first job was counting the number of times the jackhammer needed to strike to complete the job! When Donald went back to the Real Estate business, he returned to his habit of bringing Betty the “Saturday Evening Post” when he worked late on Thursdays. Sometimes he included a pint of her favorite ice cream which varied between Butter Pecan and Peppermint Candy. And so life continued until Dec 28, 1959.

                                            (to be concluded)